This is on my bathroom wall. It is a slightly different version from the quote by Lama Surya Das: “Forgiveness means Letting Go of the Hope for a Better Past”. It is to remind me to let go, so that I can try to be in THIS MOMENT. Like everyone I have a back story. Letting go of some of the dark pieces of my past has been freeing me to be more and MORE to live NOW and in the present. I feel what I feel now with more depth, too, and am getting in more touch with what those feelings are.
“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life.” – Eckhart Tolle
When I think back on my life what counted many times the most were the small moments when I could be fully present for my daughter. Her birth was important, and that was and is not the highlight of our relationship. Every interaction with her has been important since she was born, not just her birth.
After a lovely wedding, which I had made another key moment in my life, I realized (after I was divorced) that I had had an expectation of the “Princess, fairy tale version” that many of us women were sold back then and believed about the “white picket fence”, and “happily every after”. Those versions did not tell me that I needed to sustain that “happily ever after” with many moments that counted in that marriage. I also chose a partner with whom I could not sustain those moments; at that time, I was too young, inexperienced, and naive to know it. At that time I did not have a clue who I was.
Thank goodness, today, even looking at a dandelion flower brings me joy. It is so complex and beautiful. I reveled yesterday in a conversation with a five-year old girl, who is the granddaughter of a friend; I felt happy during a conversation with a family member; last night I deeply enjoyed conversing with friends with over a savory meal.
Aren’t these the real moments, the ones that count every day to make up a meaningful life?
Of course, there have been the dark moments, the times I have suffered, too, such as divorce, illness, pain, deaths, injuries, fears, and the frustrations of everyday life. Sometimes, those were the moments when I could grow the most. After my divorce years ago, I had an opportunity to grow up; I was able to discover what my calling is! I started to begin to know myself. When I have faced my fears, I have learned something else about myself. I also learned I am not alone in my suffering.
Aren’t these, too, the real moments in our lives that count and make up a meaningful life?
These darker moments are like a Rhododendron flower which is multifaceted, and multicolored complexity; difficult and painful moments have expanded me as a human being when I was/am willing to grow. These moments have helped to free me from difficult experiences in the past.
“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh
Here is the link to a short talk from Mitch Albom, who wrote “Tuesdays with Morrie” called “Making Each Moment Matter” . www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gr0COGuAA4U.
You may have to type it in. For some reason the link is not working. It is worth watching!