Integrity

The integrity of this flower is easy to see. I see its wholeness. In nature, I see integrity all around us. With us humans, integrity is more complex. I often have choices in many things and situations. How do I keep my own integrity, particularly in regard to those things that are important to me and act consistently, to be honest about who I am in own life?

In the past, I stayed in situations, relationships, and even jobs longer than made sense. I was not fully aware that I was selling myself short when I was doing that. When we need work to live, that is very understandable. However, I also became very good at adapting myself to relationships that were not the best for me.

Recently with the help of my source, friends, and family, I healed an important part of my past. In doing so, I also became more aware of what I can and can NOT make work for me in my life. What I denied in the past about a situation, I can NOT lie to myself about anymore. My own integrity and clarity about what I need and feel I can not pretend to NOT hear anymore. This is helping me to let go of situations that go against my own values and beliefs.

“Nothing is, at last, sacred, but the integrity of your own mind.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I have integrity, I find it is also easier for me to respect others. When I acted with less integrity, I did not feel that good about myself. It is hard to be respectful of others when you are stuck in your own self-loathing. Often you aren’t even aware of it because so many other people around you are doing the same thing. This did not give me an excuse. I had to wake up and start standing up for what was important to me. I had to learn to know myself even if that meant facing some old demons.

I have choices about how I choose to show up in the world. Every day I must choose to live in integrity with every choice I make. I have also learned to forgive myself for not always choosing well. Old patterns die hard. I am also learning to watch and wait longer before I act. At times, I risk and jump into something new. I take risks or I will be living in fear about every choice I make. That is not living either. I must maintain a balance.

I try to have more compassion for others and myself because most of us are truly in the same boat on this planet. As humans I know we aren’t perfect, that way I can cut slack for everyone including myself.

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