Love and Empathy Conquers Hate and Fear

When I have been afraid, I can NOT think straight. I feel I have no possibilities, or I feel helpless and hopeless. When I can become vulnerable enough and admit my fear and notice why I am afraid, then I can work to tell the truth to myself or others about my fear(s). Then I am free again and can notice other possible ways to deal with a situation or challenge than when I was blinded by my fear.

I was going through this process the few last weeks. This was not an instant process. It took me some time to unravel it. I also had to ask for help from my source. After I did this, I calmed down and was able to more patiently navigate my way through my recent and even ongoing challenges. I found a possible solution that I was unable to even fathom when I had been so fearful.

I have noticed that when I am fearful, I am also less loving and empathetic. I am quicker to anger. Over the last few months, with all of the mass shootings, shootings of African Americans, and police officers and unrest and shootings around the world, I have resisted going to fear, but it crept in anyway. Denying it was there was not helping. Also I have been disturbed and saddened by the hate I have witnessed against all groups of people.

Hate has an energy that is palpable and very dark. However, I and we humans have a way to conquer hate and fear, and that is with love and empathy.

From Wayne Dyer’s Book, page 27: “The Power of Intention” he said in his chapter: “The Seven Faces of Intention”:

“…Love… is a higher/faster energy than the energy of hate.”

Also on the same page Mr. Dyer said:

“Thoughts and emotions are pure energy. When higher energies occupy the same field as lower energies, the lower energies convert to higher energies.”

Therefore, in the presence of the energy of LOVE, hate is conquered.

Getting to this place of LOVE is definitely not automatic for me. What I can do, is begin with myself. I need to begin with being kinder and more loving to myself, only then can I give love or at least have empathy for others. First, I have to shift and acknowledge my fear or anger if I have any. Recently, I found what was under my fear was a very old resentment, which I needed to admit to myself. This included that I needed to become willing to be an observer of my own actions, emotions, and triggers. My source helps me to see what those are when I become willing to be humble and listen from a place of silence. I am no saint. I am aware I need all the help I can get, so I ask or pray for it.

“Love is the most powerful and still the most unknown energy of the world.”

– Teil de Chardin

I just saw this this Tuesday. This young man shows what LOVE and EMPATHY are in his unbelievable rap. Don’t miss it! Keep kleenex handy.

Sorry, initially I copied and pasted the wrong rap!


Personal Freedom

More than 35 years ago when I was writing a cookbook of international, family recipes, and recipes from friends, it gave me focus, purpose, and freedom during a hard time in my life. Because I believe that freedom is an inside job, writing something creative has helped me again and again regain my own personal freedom.

Since Independence Day, a lot has been recently said about freedom, and it often has been tied to fighting for freedom and flag waving. Since I am a peace activist, fighting wars has been something I have opposed for at least 30 years, particularly when I deemed the war was unnecessary. For me, seeking my own personal freedom has been a part of my life’s journey.

However, our own personal freedom, so we can face each new day, is probably different for each of us. It’s writing, for me, it may be doing art, singing, reading, playing music or instruments, prayer, meditating, taking a walk, or even exercising that helps you regain your own personal freedom.

“Books were my pass to PERSONAL FREEDOM. I learned to read at age three and soon discovered there was a whole world to conquer that went beyond my farm in Mississippi.”
– Oprah Winfrey

That book I wrote over 35 years ago, is published now. See the photo. Since I had to retype all of the recipes and the entire book, and not just scan it onto my computer, I had to decide whether the project of this cookbook was worth it. I also had to retest many recipes, because ingredients had change. I slept on whether it was worth it to put “Sane and Savory Cookbook” out into the world. I concluded “YES!” I added new knowledge about nutrition for the 21 st century and added even more recipes. While I was retyping the book, I also struggled and even became ill because I did not realize at that time that I was also triggering what was happening in my life more than 35 years ago. That included very difficult life changes for me to learn to accept.

This Tedx Talk shows a very broad and thoughtful view of Creating Freedom for ourselves. I concur with Raoul Martinez’s viewpoint and found it very insightful.

When I finished the retyping the cookbook in about May 2016 and handed it over to my daughter to upload on, I didn’t realize until then that this book had actually contributed to my “personal freedom” so many years ago.

“For in the end, freedom is a personal and lonely battle; and one faces down fears of today so that those of tomorrow might be engaged.”

– Alice Walker

What do you do that helps you replenish and sustain your personal freedom?


Respecting Our Differences

I have felt very sad about the events of the previous week. I was very disturbed by all of the recent deaths of innocent African Americans and the five police officers killed in Dallas. I was deeply saddened by the many deaths in Orlando where innocent people from the GBLT community were gunned down merely three weeks ago. Death knows NO racial or sexual boundaries.

More than 21 years ago, I was clueless about what people of color had to put up with. I was unconscious about their life experiences. I started to change and wake up about race when I was trying to coach an African American male about his life difficulties (I was taking a life coaching course), and I did not have a clue about what to say to him to ease his suffering. I could not even utter a sentence that he was probably experiencing what he was because of his race. The man who was coaching me about my life coaching is from Chile, and he, Julio Olla, was and is a different kind of observer than I am as a white woman from the USA. That day was the beginning of me understanding and waking up that as a white woman, I was unaware of the kind of suffering and discrimination that people of color had to deal with in the USA in their daily lives.

I began to read many books and write about race in the USA from a historical perspective. I continued to teach English-as-a-Second Language, and I also taught GED classes to adults who were on welfare. Some of the women who I taught were African Americans. While I was teaching them, I encouraged them to share their life experiences with me. I was stunned and angered by the racism they experienced almost daily in New Hampshire, where I was living at the time.

What I never fully understood about myself was how I could relate to slavery,
the underground railroad, and some of the black historical characters that I included in the book I was writing. It took me years to understand the reason for my own passion, empathy, and drive to write about these subjects. When I uncovered that many years later, I found my passion came from my own childhood history.

“Empathy is the starting point for creating a community and taking action. It’s the impetus for creating change.”

-Max Carver

Also teaching people from all over the world has taught me how alike we humans are, and we have differences in language and culture, which I find interesting and exciting to learn. We humans are both the same and different. Thus, “Respecting Our Differences” is one of my life’s passions to write about. Underneath that, I have a passion about social justice, and with people of color during my life I have been sad, angry, and sometimes hopeful, when I have seen social justice win out for people of color. That has not been very often.

As a woman, I, too, have felt at times like a second class citizen or disrespected, so I know how that feels, but I have experienced so little compared to African Americans, Latino Americans, Indigenous Americans, people from the Middle East who are Americans, and Asian American people in this country. I also include the people in the GBLT community who have experienced tremendous discrimination, too, and have tragically died for being who they are.

What I have learned over the last 21 years is that in this country there is NOT level playing field for people of color or for people with different sexual orientations. Once I became aware and woke up, I noticed the LACK of equity for all these groups in the media, in our justice system, in our big banks, and in our schools. This lack is also in our history, which I do not feel we have ever faced with honesty. There are many good people in our country of all colors and sexual orientations. However, I feel it is time to listen to those who have NOT had a level playing field. I have felt this for a long time. Feeling guilty about our past did not serve me, nor did pretending that I could cure what ails us in this country alone. This required a personal change in me. I have also learned I could work on respecting others from all backgrounds with others who care as I do.

“Your greatest gift lies BEYOND the door named fear.”

– Sufi saying

This is my story of waking up more fully to what is so about race and culture in the USA. I did wake up by myself. I had never had a background of fearing people from other cultures. I am thankful that my family did not preach hate and fear towards others from different races and cultures. I did not have to overcome this kind of poisonous training.

Sunday evening, I heard a very inspiring, hopeful, emotionally moving story on NPR about a Black Lives Matter event that occurred in Los Angeles this past week. Please listen:

What is your story of waking up to respecting our differences?