Mind My OWN Business

“I don’t know how people get so anti-something. Mind your own business. Take care of your own affairs, and don’t worry about other people so much.”

Betty White

It is only within the last three or four years I have actually been minding my OWN business more consistently. My minding other people’s business showed up as worry about others when I could not do anything about them, or their situation, or what happened to them in the past. I have always cared about others. In fact, I was too “other” focused most of the time. At times, I was clueless about what I felt or needed.

I have married people and had partners in business where I supported their dreams, and put my own dreams on the back burner. This level of naivete used to be detrimental for me in my own life. I DO NOT recommend it. When others acted unkindly towards me, or spoke unkindly, I could NOT respond. I was, too stunned. I have joked that if I were to write an autobiography it would have been called “Deer in Headlights”. I dismissed myself consistently. I believed in the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This is a great way to live, but I did not know how to discern which people were the loving and kind people to be around. In other words, I made some poor choices of partners and people in my life. I was minding other’s business instead of my own.

The good news is I survived it all and am now minding my own business more and learning about what I feel and don’t go to denial as long as I used to when something painful surfaces in my life. Truthfully, it takes me a bit of time to get to the core of the pain. Not fun, but it is freeing once I have released it. I am very grateful to be able to meditate and go to prayer. That is how I get to the nuggets that free me. Also outside help of friends, family, and a counselor help me over the hump of my difficulties. Once I resurface in humanity, I find I am more open and kinder to everyone I meet. Even on a rainy day I find that faint rainbow way across the valley where I live. I get my smile back with no effort required. And I find I have to pray a lot about the pain and meanness I see out in the world because I alone can NOT fix it.

I wonder about why so many people feel they have been given license to be mean today. Then I think back and remember when I used to be an angrier person. I had resentments I kept to myself because way down in my subconscious I did NOT like some of the choices I was making, but I did NOT want to admit to them. Those choices did not make me feel good about myself. I was not always kind to my partners because of the resentments I was hiding. Is this one of the sources where all this MEANNESS is coming from for others today?

Would we have a different world if all of us minded our own business and lives? If all of us looked into our own hearts and past which made us feel resentful and uncovered our own pain and lived our own lives, what would that world look like?

In the USA we can state our own opinions about whatever we believe, although, appropriately, “hate” speech is illegal, but when we enact laws to stop others from living their lives, loving who they love, or being who they are, I think we have gone too far. We are messing with other people’s lives. Then we are not protecting all of humanity. Then we are not working with or respecting all people. Then we have created an “US” vs “THEM” way of living together, which is NEVER harmonious or kind. These kinds of feeling are the sources for all wars, hatred, and division. This is is the worst kind of minding other people’s business.

I will just keep chugging along and do my best to mind my OWN business, and now I temper my own behavior with making more suggestions, and offering help to family, friends, and people I meet when they ASK me for it. I don’t assume it is OK to butt in. By making this change in MY behavior, I have become more thankful and present in my OWN life, knowing that my source has given me an opportunity to live my life fully and joyously, and I will not squander the gift of my life and being a part of this beautiful world.

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