view of city Eugene

View of city where I live

The camera was unable to capture the view of the city where I live.  Even though I could see it perfectly. It is really there; you just can’t see it.  Delusions are a lot that way.

Delusions are distorted ways of looking at ourselves, other people, and the world around us–like a distorted mirror, they reflect a distorted world. “~   Geshe Kelsang

seven mountain ranges

View of seven mountain ranges

Again the camera lied! There are really seven mountain ranges you can see from this viewpoint.

This is not as drastic as the lying I used to do to myself, and when I deluded myself about how I really felt about many things and what was truly happening in my life. I used to let other people determine what I felt, and still I chose them to be in my life. Much later in life, I have learned how to recognize and name what I feel and am learning what my own needs are and where I am still delusional. I’m beginning to learn to accept what is happening now more readily, and obsessing less about what I want or fear. Because of this, I am a happier person now.

As it turns out I’m not alone in deluding myself. Many of us humans seem to do this. I found this TED talk which was banned by TED called The Science Delusions by the speaker Rupert Sheldrake.

two rocks

two rocks

Which of the two rocks is heavier?  The smaller one. The larger one is volcanic and is lighter.

For me at times in my life before now, it was as if I would insist that the larger rock was  heavier.  I’m glad and thankful now that I am learning to acknowledge my feelings of my likes and dislikes without trying to escape from myself or judge myself and others so harshly. I’ve also discovered that I don’t have to act out my feelings, nor let my wants or aversions have so much power over me. I can let those feelings flow through me without resisting them. (Sometimes it has been painful.) And I am continuing to work to have more compassion towards others because I usually have  NO idea what their burdens are or what they are thinking.

Just the other day I caught myself in one of my delusions, believing I had caused something which I had had ABSOLUTELY NO control over. Now when I catch myself in such delusions based on old patterns of thinking, I notice them and then laugh at myself!

“When all else fails, there’s always delusion.”  –  Conan O’Brien