For many years I had no source outside myself. I was aimless and confused, but I wouldn’t admit it for a minute. I was an “independent thinker”, so I thought.
When I look back at me then, I thought I knew what I was doing. I was certain and almost proud I had no source outside myself, except people. I had no spiritual center, and in moments, when I was willing to question myself, I did not feel quite “whole”, nor did I fully understand what I was feeling.
While I was teaching, I prepared adult students for the GED test. They shared amazing stories with me, including even their near death experiences. The curriculum I taught included the basic laws of physics for their GED tests. That taught me that energy is not destroyed.
At that time, other events occurred in my life which involved family members who were spared from near misses with death: one with a collision with snow plow, and another family member who fell off a roof. Added to these events, when my daughter was driving day or at night in the New England town where we lived, I sent her “white light” as a way to protect her and to stop myself from worrying. I started to question my lack of a spiritual source and faith in anything. I no longer had all the “answers” and explanations for what I was experiencing in my life.
Lesley Hazelton gives a moving TED talk about Doubt in relationship with Faith about Mohammed. She lived in Israel from 1966 to 1979. In the following talk, she speaks about the Moslem faith that I came to know and understand from my friends, who are Moslems, and from students, who I taught who are Moslems.
It is: www.ted.com/talks/lesley_hazleton_the_doubt_essential_to_faith