Overthinking

Thinking and questioning are skills we humans need to live. However, overthinking is another matter. Much of my life I have been a person who would do what I call overthinking. I did it frequently, but I was unaware I did it. Overthinking includes worrying a lot about the future. I used to even plan what I would say, almost full conversations when I had to deal with a problem. I was always sure I was wrong, so I had to defend my position.

I also had expectations about my marriage, my job, and people I love. What was interesting with all this overthinking, I did not ask myself important questions such as: What did I need and want? What were my deepest concerns? What was I willing to do? What was I unwilling to do? I thrived on my fairy tale-like expectations which never came true. (I still do NOT like Disney because so many of his movies sell this fairy tale version of life to little girls and even boys.)

With all of this overthinking, often I had very little peace. Instead, I had a lot of anxiety with all this constant thinking, usually about others, and I did not even know myself. One thing more recently that has helped me stem some of my overthinking is to meditate regularly.

In my practice with meditation, the amazing monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, keeps showing up in my life. Read about his life story online. He has endured great suffering, so his teachings are revealing and always helpful. I love his perspective and his simple and beautiful explanations about life.

On youtube there is this video about Plum Village where this great monk has a center in France; it has subtitles.

Another piece of overthinking seems to be criticizing. The ridiculous part about criticizing is that it is a usually a waste of time. I still criticize how other people drive, instead of just paying attention to my OWN driving. Of course, I am talking to myself in my own car about the “bad” driver, and that other person cannot hear me criticizing them anyway!

I think I’ll go and meditate on this some more!

One other negative consequence of overthinking, it keeps me from experiencing the present. Because I am obsessing about whatever, I miss seeing the bird flying, a flower, a child do something that makes me smile, a squirrel, or even enjoying a breeze on my cheek. I miss the beauty in my own life.

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Angels

angel holding child

pink angel holding child

“Feathers are reminders that angels are always near.”  Unknown

Yes, I believe in angels. I put some of them on the ledge of my window in my bedroom. An old friend gave her to me.  I’ve never seen an angel. However, when I used to live in North Carolina, a photo that appeared in the newspaper captured the image of an angel like form in one of the local hospital’s hallways where people had been praying to spare an individual’s life. That person recovered.

I have experienced the grace and being spared near death enough times that I don’t doubt angels.   I thank my higher source and angels for that! I’m thankful to be alive. I have other angels in my bedroom window.

angel of the heart

angel of the heart

This angel is to remind me to come from my heart. I am generally nice, but some days it’s harder than others, so this angel reminds me to dial any pissy-ness down in my mood. She reminds me to try to be my better self.

hippy angel

hippy angel

My hippy angel makes me laugh. The first time I saw her, she made me laugh. I call her my hippy angel because she is wearing some clunky sandals. She is not a pretentious angel or a beautiful angel, but a simple, “down to earth”, cheerful angel.

cat angel

cat angel

I found this cat angel at a resale store that finds homes for stray cats. I have had cats before, and they were good buddies to me, so naturally I had to have this cat angel when I saw this ornament. This is my cat as well as my angel protection!

Japanese maple

baby angel wings on Japanese maple

I see “baby” angel wings on the pink “helicopters” that are on Japanese maples in the late summer. This is what a Japanese Maple looks like.

Japanese maple tree

Japanese Maple tree

 

spinners

“helicopters” from maple trees

These are regular size dried “helicopters” off of the maple trees where I live. They, too, look like angels’ wings to me, at least that is how I want to think of them.

maple tree

Maple Tree

I know I’m not alone in my beliefs. Many faiths speak of guardian angels and other kinds of angels. In my neighborhood, I spotted an angel in a yard nearby on one of my daily walks.

yard angel

yard angel

A small angel rests in the yard under the red flowers. I did not feel I could march into this private yard to get a closer photo.

I went to youtube to see if there were any photos of angels. What I like about this youtube video is that there is a story explaining what happened before each of the photos was taken.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2JPre7rEX4

angel coins

Angel coins

These angel coins came from one of my massage therapists. With her I experienced a great deal of healing. While she worked on me, we talked about angels, and then one day before I left her care, she presented me with these three angel coins of: Love, Courage, and Hope. When we see each other at my doctor’s office or out and about town, we always exchange healing hugs.

Angels are ever present in my life in so many ways.

 

 

 

 

 

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